10 Lessons that Grandma Taught Me
Grandmothers are a walking wisdom encyclopedia
What is a grandmother?
A grandmother is a remarkable woman.
She’s an uncanny combination between warmth and kindness, laughter and happiness. She’s the person who will overlook your faults, will encourage your dreams, and praise every success you have. A grandmother has the wisdom of a teacher, the nurturing of a mother, and the sincerity of a great friend.
Alexandrina is the name of the divine intervention, in this life. What a beautiful name, just like her soul. My grandmother is a combination of hard stone strength and petal-soft sensitivity. All-together she is a paradox.
My connection with my grandmother comes before I was even born. She is my mother’s mother, which means that when she was pregnant with her, I was already part of the process of creation, a tiny little egg in my mom’s ovaries. It’s mesmerizing when you think about it.
The story behind the grandmother
Two generations ago, my grandmother was being brought into my grandfather’s garden and she was planted there. She then understood: this is now going to be her home and she had nothing to say about it.
Social times were different, therefore her voice was always internal but she never had the chance to utterly express herself. My grandmother was the type of woman who could do anything. She planted a whole garden on bare soil, she had three children, meanwhile working a full-time job, in an environment surrounded by men. She was a woman in times where women were barely acknowledged.
She is a woman that built things all her life: a house that transformed into a home, a garden that transformed into a source of feeding, three little beings that transformed into big people of the world. She also builds a sense of belonging within herself, meanwhile trying to be a wife, a mom, a grandmother, and a human.
Her life wasn’t easy.
But did you expect her to lay down her wisdom, from ease?
She was beaten. She was stuck in a relationship with a man that she never loved. She wanted to see more of the world but gave that up to giving the world to her kids. She hoped she will settle her energy when my grandfather passed away and when her children will be at peace, but the Universe gave her another challenge: me. She handled me with grace and with everything that she knew better.
My remarkable grandmother taught me multiple things in life: cleaning my house and my soul, cooking fresh food, and sharing that with others who need it.
My grandmother told me that every good thing I do helps a human being in the world. I believed her 50 years ago and I still do today. — Maya Angelou
The story that will never be forgotten
It was in autumn. It was raining and the school was just opening.
Growing up, our financial situation wasn’t good and the economical system in the school I went to — wasn’t build to support such situations. All the children were coming to school either with money for lunch or with food bought by their parents, mostly snacks, fruit, or bakery items.
Grandma didn’t have both. But she had love and skills.
So she was getting up at 4 am, to bake a special savory snack so I can take to school and eat in between my breaks. This is something that I will never forget. The care she put in doing that, means the world. The strength needed to show humanity, despite the inhumanity you’ve been shown all your life…this is the most wonderful trait my grandmother has.
Here’s a picture of how love looks in a baked form.
The 10 lessons of today, that grandma shared
I went home, not too long ago and I asked my grandmother to think of 10 things she would like to share with me. Things about life, about being, about loving. She seemed surprised as we never touched this subject before. But she then said, that she needs some time. The other day she called and she said: Ok, do you have a pen and paper? I’ve got the 10 things.
1. One-hand, five fingers and none of them looks like the others
Talking to my grandmother has always been like opening the pandora box, she will say some of the most interesting lines one could hear. This was one of them.
She was telling me to stop expecting people to act the way I do, have the same beliefs, or be the same as me. She said, take the example of our hands that have five fingers and none of them looks like the others or can do what the other is doing, yet — they are all connecting together in creating something bigger than them.
2. What’s on the table matters less than who’s around it
Choosing the right people to share your food with, is more important than the actual food that you’re sharing. Grandma didn’t refer here to the quality of food — because she is an advocate of delicious taste, but she was underlining the idea of simply living while being surrounded by wholesome people.
3. When life gets hard, that’s the time to push for more
She insisted on this one in particular. She even repeated it twice, making sure I get it and fully adopt it. She said that light gets in through cracks and usually life gets hards so it can break us open — this way we welcome in the brightens of being.
Be strong for yourself. Be resilient for others and when you feel like you can’t take it anymore, remind yourself that you have been designed to take 10 times more of the things that are thrown at you.
4. Pick someone to love you, more than you love yourself
We are our biggest critics.
She said: when choosing your friends and your partner make sure they have a bigger tank of love for you than you have for yourself. Everybody says that we should love ourselves, but there are days when we can’t do it, we go down on us so harshly and that’s the moment when we need someone to pick us up.
Love yourself enough not to permit others to mock you or take advantage of you, but let yourself be loved by people who are willing to do so when you’re at your lowest.
5. Be vulnerable. Love endlessly. Love a lot. And then love some more
My grandmother’s heart is like a patchwork of love.
Having the power to let yourself be seen naked from all corners, it’s so courageous. I’ve learned from her to love, love deep, and love life. There is no greater answer to something that this journey called life, is throwing at us — than endless love.
She then said: Just like me, others have the same struggles, ups and downs and challenges — but when we report to one another with love, things are getting easier to accept and smoother to be dealt with.
6. Two lovers, one problem. Make sure you solve it together
Oh, and life is full of challenges. Some would call them problems.
When in between two lovers, a challenge arrises, make sure you come together with the different assets you have and solve it. Don’t go separate to find different answers or try and solve it singularly, because that will break paths and lead to the belief that we are greater by ourselves than together.
7. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty. In the kitchen. In the garden
Earth has given us an abundance of goodies, but we choose to set cement and marble on top of them.
Enjoy growing something and then get happy at the idea of preparing it in your kitchen. Then don’t be scared of getting dirty on the way. Be like children, exploring, and having fun.
8. Always keep moving, even if just walking
Grandma could never sit still.
She was always finding something to do. I believe that finding the power to sit down and reflect or relax, is also very important, but grandma was right — nothing can beat moving around your energy. Walk every day she said, stagnant energy goes up to your head — and that’s not good. Haha!
9. Buy things that last
She passed this idea of quality in everything we acquire in life.
Carry quality conversations, eat quality food, spend time reading quality content, but not the least: buy quality stuff.
Only good things will keep you through life. If you buy a quality mattress, you won’t have to buy another one within one or two years — which not only helps you sleep better but your long-term investment will be worth it.
My grandmother was a woman that liked to take care of herself and even if she didn’t have everything she wanted, she believed that choosing quality pieces for your minimalist wardrobe and quality products for your body — will beat a huge closet and a multitude of different products, anytime.
10. Make connections last
Last, but not the least from Alexandrina’s wisdom booklet is: to make connections last.
Put the effort into maintaining the connection with other human beings. Be a giver and cherish whatever it is being brought to the table. Check on people, offer your shoulder for a crying soul…this way you will always be at peace with the fact that you did your part, no matter if it was reciprocated or not.
Having a conversation with an old person is like reading the summary of a book, without getting the full experience.
This is how all my conversations with my grandmother are, anyway.
Make a list of questions and dig into your grandmother’s life book. You might get the chance to learn some lessons before life throws them at you.
