One of the Keys to Healing: Balance
Not too much God, not too much selfish — otherwise life’s too crazy.
Recent circumstances that happened around me and triggered something inside me, lead me to the conclusion that what’s too much or too little can create a big imbalance in our lives.
What does balance mean?
By definition, balance is an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
I would say: Balance is the center of two axes, where you can only find peace.
What about imbalance?
The imbalance is a lack of proportion or relation between corresponding things. Tension is generated by the imbalance of power.
I would say: Imbalance takes place when you derailed from the center of those two axes and you start finding turmoil instead of peace.
You loose the balance, you loose the power. — Ketut
Think about the circus acrobats.
The ones that are supposed to cross that thin high wire, only using a pole or his own body to balance. From a mathematical standpoint, as long as the pole’s length is equal on both sides of the high wire, the acrobat is in balance. He is the center of the two axes. If he leans more towards any of the four poles, he is likely to lose the balance and fall off.
The same principle applies to our lives. We will always get told when we’re out of balance, you just have to listen. It first comes as a whisper and if you don’t have your ears developed, it starts screaming.
We received this life in order to enjoy it with everything that’s good and bad in it. As humans, we failed to understand that life is a gift and we’re often rushing to get at the end of it…without enjoying the best part — the unwrapping.
In the unwrapping, we learn how to balance the act of life. Don’t tear the package, but also don’t leave it unopened in the fear that you won’t like what you’re getting.
Most of the time we think we know what we want from life, but life gives us what we need in order to evolve.
“Balance is key. In everything you do. Dance all night long and practice yoga the next day. Drink wine but don’t forget your green juice. Eat chocolate when your heart wants it and kale salad when your body needs it. Wear high heels on Saturday and walk barefoot on Sunday. Go shopping at the mall and then sit down and meditate in your bedroom. Live high and low. Move and stay still. Embrace all sides of who you are and live your authentic truth! Be brave and bold and spontaneous and loud and let that complement your abilities to find silence and patience and modesty and peace. Aim for balance. Make your own rules and don’t let anybody tell you how to live according to theirs.” — Rachel Brathen
How to identify what you need to balance in your life?
Pay attention to all the people that are in your life, but especially those who are to come. We are all mirrors. We show each other what we need to work on the most. I was mentioning above that you need to have ears to listen to life’s whisper. You now also need to have eyes to see yourself in the mirror.
Pay attention to what bothers you the most in the people you meet. Those are the things you need to work on. The more aware you become, the faster you identify them.
There are important pillars in our life that we should all find balance in. This way we won’t fall off the high wire.
Health
I am big on health & movement. Keeps the energy flowing.
But it wasn’t always like this. I used to look at everyone’s healthy journey and expressing some sort of disappointment within myself because I couldn’t commit. This is the exact example that shows you how life whispered at me: There is something that you need to take care of inside your body. But I didn’t have ears to listen to that nudge — so I wasn’t consistent in my exercise or my diet. What do you think happened? Life screamed at me and I got sick. Very sick! Then I finally heard!
I’ve now learned how to listen before it screams. I found balance in my health and now my body is one of my best friends. I run, but I rest. I indulge, but I fast. I shower, but I also take baths. We wouldn’t think this part is important, but it is.
The same goes for mental health as well. I read personal development, but I give myself some storytelling as well. I let myself cry, but I laugh with all my being. I take care of other people’s mental energy, but I also take care of mine.
Wealth
There are people who think money is important and people who think that they aren’t. The first bunch probably got educated by their surroundings that money comes first, meanwhile, the second bunch didn’t have any guidance, therefore put it in the last place.
I learned that money is energy, just like everything else. The thoughts you put into becoming wealthy will decide the amount of money you have in your life. At the end of the day, we all wish for financial ease and a free lifestyle. Pay attention to how you refer to money and pay attention to how you feel towards the people who have more financial wealth than you do. That’s a sign that you need to work more in that aspect. To balance it out!
Keep this in mind: we all want to help others, meanwhile making a living out of it.
If the job you’re currently in doesn’t wink at you, if you don’t feel like you’re touching people’s lives, meanwhile fulfilling yours, then it’s time to take some action towards balancing this aspect. Otherwise, you’ll be down in a matter of time.
Don’t forget: Save, but spend. Get what your heart desires, but think about later as well. Work to live, not live to work!
Relationships
I’ve touched this previously. It’s a vital pillar. Connection with others helps us to survive. Cultivating relationships sits at the base of who we are as human beings.
But imbalance can take place even here. You can be either too selfish and not care about others or you can be like me, cares too much about others, and too little about yourself. Being a giver is what we should all live for, but if your glass is empty — where are you pouring from? Keep yourself in check or you might get dehydrated on the way and risk to die.
If you’re being too selfish, it’s time to dig into yourself and start sharing what you’ve gathered, with others — I promise there is no better feeling. It’s about giving and receiving, no matter how cliche it sounds. And you better start doing it before life will scream at you.
Life is a balance between holding & letting go. — Rumi
As for relationships altogether, no one belongs to us and we don’t belong to anyone. As soon as we make peace with this, we make peace with ourselves.
Freedom
This pilar was initially called happiness, but I will call it freedom.
We are in the pursuit of happiness? That’s a beautiful word. We are in the pursuit of freedom. We wake up every single day in the hope that we can be free to do what our heart desires.
I used to think, like everyone else. That I will be happy/free — when I will reach a certain stage, be in a certain place or with a certain someone. Bullshit! Freedom is here and freedom will be no matter what you will do. As long as you don’t chase the feeling, but you become it — that’s where the balance sits.
Go chase what’s your heart longing, but don’t give up when that’s not happening. Be free, but accountable. My dear aunt told me: you’re going to reach the end of your life, look back and say: This, was it? I should’ve laughed more.
The classic 5. Stick onto them!
1. Awareness
Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.
2. Acceptance & examination
Now that you are aware, accept that there is something imbalanced. Notice if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus, or if there are areas within each category that you would like to be more balanced.
3. Planning & accountability
Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals. What have you tried in the past? Did it work? If not, what can you do differently?
4. Consistency
Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!
5. Reflection
What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished in the past? How did you stay focused on this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?
This is just a little insight into how you can start applying these five steps in your life pillars. It’s your job to take action towards it.
So what’s the area you need to work on the most now?!
Get back on the high wire, grab your stick, and move forward — only on the way, you’ll find your balance.
